A ‘schism’ in the lockerroom? Yuck!

Normally, the only time you see the word “schism” in the media is when a Protestant denomination appears to be heading toward a break-up of some kind.

So it’s been amusing (at least to me) to see sportswriters wrestling with the word for the last week or so.

A couple of weeks ago, a football writer reported that there was a possible “schism” facing the Minnesota Vikings because of the recent signing of star QB Brett Favre. Apparently, some Vikes want him there, some don’t.

The word “schism” — How do you say it? What does it mean? — quickly became part of the story.

Favre himself said: “I don’t even know what that means,” he said. “I’ve got no reaction. I’m just hopefully trying to help this team win. Just trying to fit in. I’m not worried about that. That’s for you guys to have some fun with. Once again, I have no idea what that means. I’m assuming it’s controversial. Good.”

Then Jared Allen, another member of the Vikings known for his outspokenness, came up with this beauty: “I don’t think anyone on this team knows what schism means let alone use it in a sentence form. At first I thought schism was an STD, and I was like WOAH we practice abstinence here!”

I love sports!

When the Vikings play Favre’s old team, the Green Bay Packers, this season, I hope some headline writer describes Favre’s divided fan base as “the Great Schism.” That would be too much.

Why the Protestant decline?

So the big Pew Forum study showed that only 51 percent of Americans identity themselves as Protestants these days.

The always-funny Onion asked some “ordinary people:”

Since the 1980s, the percentage of Americans who identify themselves as Protestant has dropped from two-thirds to just 51 percent. What do you think?

onion_front.jpgOne answer:

Katla Mirk,
Attorney at Law
“Then I’m really proud of my law firm’s commitment to diversity.”

And the second:

Bryan Goudiva,
Systems Analyst
“And that 1 percent edge is all I need to be self-righteous and judgmental.”

Oh, heck, here’s the third and last:

Sam Fischer,
Heating and Cooling Installer
“That’s because everyone started doing yoga and eating weird beans and stuff.”